Holy roly–where to even start after getting totally out of the habit of blogging when it was so much a part of your life and routine for 13 years. Yep, Mizz Information turned 13 back in February–here’s the first post, and damned if my original goals for starting this blog didn’t come true and then some. This blog literally launched a new career for me and basically opened up a whole new world of friends and business opportunities that to this day still drive much of my freelance business at McGary Associates.
I of course gave a lot of thought to doing some splashy thing to celebrate 13 years of Mizz Information. I also built a whole new blog, Chic n’ Geek, which is/will be more of a lifestyle blog than business one…but I got so obsessed building the site, trying different themes (4 in all–or maybe it was 5?) that I literally spent the entirety of November through February stuck down that rabbit hole and pulling my hair out for being such a perfectionist and overthinking/designing to the point where I basically never wanted to think about Chic n’ Geek again.
It didn’t occur to me at the time that maybe the dead of winter during COVID, totally isolated from any social interaction and also “taking a sabbatical” from working isn’t the best time to hyper focus and become consumed with a new site. Somehow in my mind, starting a lifestyle blog was the perfect cure for the loneliness and isolation I’d been experiencing well before COVID. Instead of actually staying in touch with anyone or participating in stuff like Zoom socials or even leaving my house. Because everyone knows that all you have to do is launch a blog and instantly you find yourself a bunch of new friends from outside the social world you already have but had retreated from during the time you most needed to reach out and connect. Particularly when you’re not exactly the bubbly, enthusiastic airbrushed lifestyle influencer type.
So–transition to TMI part because I’ve realized that the reason I’ve become so closed off from essentially everyone over the past two or three years is because, contrary to my usual openness about my own struggles with mental health/illness, the thing that has dominated these years involves me but isn’t about me–it’s about my daughter’s battle with addiction. I’ve been shattered, filled with hope, in denial and then back through the whole cycle again and again, suffering mostly in silence by walling myself off from basically everyone. I never in a million years thought addiction would touch my life, let alone in such a devastating way. If you want to know what it’s like, you should watch or read Beautiful Boy…such a good film, and also pretty close to my own story with my daughter.
Why am I sharing this? Because I’m hoping that opening up and laying down the burden of carrying such a heavy, hard thing in secret will be a step towards reclaiming my voice. Also, I’m hoping to meet others who have gone through or are currently going through a loved one’s addiction. And, most of all, I’m hoping to start shifting my focus towards things I can control, and to be able to engage with the people and topics that give life meaning and purpose.